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BwareDWare94
Where were you when the world stopped turning?
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Quick Note: Is anybody opposed to it if we adjust how many emoticons are allowed? I had to switch the losing teams to their team names, which looks a little strange.
My individual division threads have gone into tl;dr mode, so I'm going to try a new format with predicted scores with a short write up, see if that works better. Obviously there will be no NFC North scores. Here goes:
23 Texans 13
While I'd love to predict a Cowboys blowout because Romo >!!! Fitzpatrick, I just don't see it with this Texans defense. I'm excited to witness Tyron vs. Watt and wonder how well DeMarco Murray's going to fare against this Houston defense. An alarming statistic for Cowboys fans because of Murray's injury history is that he's on pace for 400 carries. It's time to see a bit more of Lance Dunbar and Joseph Randle. Scale it back, coach Garrett, especially in games that are very winnable, like this one. I look for DeAndre Hopkins to score Houston's lone touchdown, in the middle of the second quarter. Murray scores a red zone touchdown for Dallas, along a third consecutive scoring game for Terrance Williams. Dan Bailey puts it away with his leg.
31 Titans 13
It's hard for me to predict a Browns blowout altogether, but the Titans have a terrible quarterback situation and Wiz seems reluctant to turn to the Mett, which makes no sense, whatsoever. The Browns boast a terrific 3 headed backfield and Brian Hoyer has been throwing fairly well, developing chemistry with guys like Cowboy castoff Miles Austin. I look for the Browns to take control of this game early with their running backs, paired off with a couple of passing touchdowns for Hoyer. Rest easy, Browns fans. Unless you remind us all that you are the Cleveland Browns, after all--this should be an easy one.
34 Rams 20
No matter how bad the Rams might be, Austin Davis has been a nice little spark plug for their offense, and I expect him to keep the Rams in it for a little while. Unfortunately for St. Louis, they just aren't ready for the next step, and Philadelphia should have this game in hand by the middle of the third quarter. Look for Darren Sproles to have a great game as Jeff Fisher puts too much focus on stopping McCoy, and I think Jeremy Maclin torches Janoris Jenkins, who's got any ass whupping he gets coming. I wonder if Baltimore plays St. Louis, this year, as I'd love to see the fistfight between Jenkins and Steve Smith Sr. We can only hope, right?
31 Falcons 27
Eli's going to feast on this Atlanta defense, but Matt Ryan has looked great so far and should play well against the Giants defense. At the same time, New York's secondary could give the Falcons receiving corps some issues. What this game might come down to is who can establish a running game, and I think the Giants have a much better shot at doing that. The key for the Falcons, if they want to win, is to force turnovers, but Eli looks like he's transformed back into the good Eli. What remains to be seen is if this is trend or if he'll revert back to EL-INT.
27 Saints 20 UPSET ALERT
Don't look now, but the Saints are in real trouble. They've lost Jairus Byrd for the year and continue to have struggles on the offensive side of the ball, where middle of the pack defenses like Minnesota and Dallas have held them down for two consecutive weeks. So why can't Tampa Bay do the same, am I right? Mike Glennon is a competent young quarterback who doesn't seem to make the dumb mistakes McCown became known for in the first two weeks. Vincent Jackson should have a good game, as Mike Evans has gone down with an injury. if Glennon can spread the ball out, we may see the return of the Muscle Hamster. I'm looking for a barn burner in New Orleans and think Glennon pulls off another impressive win for the Bucs
31 Colts 23
I'm simply not ready to crown the Colts as the surefire AFC South champs, and I don't think Baltimore's defense will allow the likes of Trent Richardson to run on it, forcing Luck to throw all day and the Ravens are good enough to snag a couple of turnovers off of the Stanford product. I'm predicting this will be Marlon Brown's breakout game for 2014, as he'll snag a redzone touchdown and I Justin Forsett goes off for a second straight week. The Ravens have a plethora of weapons on offense that this Colts team won't be able to put the clamps on.
34 Jaguars 24
Oh, Mike Tomlin. In your tenure, particularly after the Super Bowl win, the Steelers have been known to play down to their competition. It's remarkably unfortunate, and it may be your undoing if this team doesn't get its shit together and make some noise in the post season. Antonio Brown should have no trouble lighting up the Jags, as they've had some injuries in the secondary, and if the Steelers can get ahead, that only means that Bell and Blount can bludgeon the Jaguars into submission late in the third quarter. Bortles will play well, but he won't be "evolving" in this game.
27 Cardinals 24
Bruce Arians gets the most out of everybody, and according to whispers I've heard on talk radio, it has a lot to do with the fact that he treats everybody like human beings. The coaching staff doesn't put in any overnight shifts where they don't leave the facility, so his coaches love him, and the players have epitomized the "next man up" mentality that other teams always say but prove to be laughingstocks when their depth doesn't show up to play. The Cardinals appear solid from front to back, with guys stepping in to fill roles left by key plays on the injury report or playing in different jerseys, this season. I have to wonder, though, if Washington's suspension was shortened, too, like Gordon's. Has anybody heard?
29 Chiefs 22
I really don't know what to make of this game, so I gave both teams absurd scores that are nearly impossible to get to without safeties or missed extra points. My real prediction is this: Colin Kaepernick either plays well enough for the 49ers to squeak out a victory, or he implodes and gets embarrassed by the guy who should still be starting ahead of him. Above all else, I believe in Jim Harbaugh's coaching philosophies, and quite frankly, I don't give a rat's ass if players don't like him. What he does works, and I expect the 49ers to win this game because of it.
31 Jets 20
The departure of Norv Turner has proven revolutionary for this Chargers club. They no longer play down to their competition, and have been putting teams like the Bills away, late in games. The same is going to happen against a New York team with a terrible offense. Chris Ivory will keep the Jets in the game into the third quarter, but expect Philip Rivers to put it away late in the third or early in the fourth. As a huge fan of Rex Ryan, it irritates me how little the current GM has done for him these past few offseasons. Needless to say, NYJ's FO is so adamant about getting their hand picked coach in place that they sabotaged two consecutive seasons in order to get Rex out of there. I'd love it if the Jets could win and fight for their coach.
27 Patriots 13
There's no way New England is getting off the schnide against this Bengals defense. No way, whatsoever. This game is over unless Bill becomes less stubborn overnight and just starts his only two outside threats at receiver. Jesus Christ, Mr. Belichick. Play the kids and give your team a chance. You aren't carving up this Bengals secondary with Edelman, LaFell, and Amendola. Not going to happen. Andy Dalton mostly sucks, as usual, but AJ Green catches two superhuman touchdowns and Gio runs one in. Don't get me wrong, I think New England gets the ball rolling, and soon, but not this week.
600 Redskins -3
Do I even have to explain this prediction? lolRedksins
My individual division threads have gone into tl;dr mode, so I'm going to try a new format with predicted scores with a short write up, see if that works better. Obviously there will be no NFC North scores. Here goes:
While I'd love to predict a Cowboys blowout because Romo >!!! Fitzpatrick, I just don't see it with this Texans defense. I'm excited to witness Tyron vs. Watt and wonder how well DeMarco Murray's going to fare against this Houston defense. An alarming statistic for Cowboys fans because of Murray's injury history is that he's on pace for 400 carries. It's time to see a bit more of Lance Dunbar and Joseph Randle. Scale it back, coach Garrett, especially in games that are very winnable, like this one. I look for DeAndre Hopkins to score Houston's lone touchdown, in the middle of the second quarter. Murray scores a red zone touchdown for Dallas, along a third consecutive scoring game for Terrance Williams. Dan Bailey puts it away with his leg.
It's hard for me to predict a Browns blowout altogether, but the Titans have a terrible quarterback situation and Wiz seems reluctant to turn to the Mett, which makes no sense, whatsoever. The Browns boast a terrific 3 headed backfield and Brian Hoyer has been throwing fairly well, developing chemistry with guys like Cowboy castoff Miles Austin. I look for the Browns to take control of this game early with their running backs, paired off with a couple of passing touchdowns for Hoyer. Rest easy, Browns fans. Unless you remind us all that you are the Cleveland Browns, after all--this should be an easy one.
No matter how bad the Rams might be, Austin Davis has been a nice little spark plug for their offense, and I expect him to keep the Rams in it for a little while. Unfortunately for St. Louis, they just aren't ready for the next step, and Philadelphia should have this game in hand by the middle of the third quarter. Look for Darren Sproles to have a great game as Jeff Fisher puts too much focus on stopping McCoy, and I think Jeremy Maclin torches Janoris Jenkins, who's got any ass whupping he gets coming. I wonder if Baltimore plays St. Louis, this year, as I'd love to see the fistfight between Jenkins and Steve Smith Sr. We can only hope, right?
Eli's going to feast on this Atlanta defense, but Matt Ryan has looked great so far and should play well against the Giants defense. At the same time, New York's secondary could give the Falcons receiving corps some issues. What this game might come down to is who can establish a running game, and I think the Giants have a much better shot at doing that. The key for the Falcons, if they want to win, is to force turnovers, but Eli looks like he's transformed back into the good Eli. What remains to be seen is if this is trend or if he'll revert back to EL-INT.
Don't look now, but the Saints are in real trouble. They've lost Jairus Byrd for the year and continue to have struggles on the offensive side of the ball, where middle of the pack defenses like Minnesota and Dallas have held them down for two consecutive weeks. So why can't Tampa Bay do the same, am I right? Mike Glennon is a competent young quarterback who doesn't seem to make the dumb mistakes McCown became known for in the first two weeks. Vincent Jackson should have a good game, as Mike Evans has gone down with an injury. if Glennon can spread the ball out, we may see the return of the Muscle Hamster. I'm looking for a barn burner in New Orleans and think Glennon pulls off another impressive win for the Bucs
I'm simply not ready to crown the Colts as the surefire AFC South champs, and I don't think Baltimore's defense will allow the likes of Trent Richardson to run on it, forcing Luck to throw all day and the Ravens are good enough to snag a couple of turnovers off of the Stanford product. I'm predicting this will be Marlon Brown's breakout game for 2014, as he'll snag a redzone touchdown and I Justin Forsett goes off for a second straight week. The Ravens have a plethora of weapons on offense that this Colts team won't be able to put the clamps on.
Oh, Mike Tomlin. In your tenure, particularly after the Super Bowl win, the Steelers have been known to play down to their competition. It's remarkably unfortunate, and it may be your undoing if this team doesn't get its shit together and make some noise in the post season. Antonio Brown should have no trouble lighting up the Jags, as they've had some injuries in the secondary, and if the Steelers can get ahead, that only means that Bell and Blount can bludgeon the Jaguars into submission late in the third quarter. Bortles will play well, but he won't be "evolving" in this game.
Bruce Arians gets the most out of everybody, and according to whispers I've heard on talk radio, it has a lot to do with the fact that he treats everybody like human beings. The coaching staff doesn't put in any overnight shifts where they don't leave the facility, so his coaches love him, and the players have epitomized the "next man up" mentality that other teams always say but prove to be laughingstocks when their depth doesn't show up to play. The Cardinals appear solid from front to back, with guys stepping in to fill roles left by key plays on the injury report or playing in different jerseys, this season. I have to wonder, though, if Washington's suspension was shortened, too, like Gordon's. Has anybody heard?
I really don't know what to make of this game, so I gave both teams absurd scores that are nearly impossible to get to without safeties or missed extra points. My real prediction is this: Colin Kaepernick either plays well enough for the 49ers to squeak out a victory, or he implodes and gets embarrassed by the guy who should still be starting ahead of him. Above all else, I believe in Jim Harbaugh's coaching philosophies, and quite frankly, I don't give a rat's ass if players don't like him. What he does works, and I expect the 49ers to win this game because of it.
The departure of Norv Turner has proven revolutionary for this Chargers club. They no longer play down to their competition, and have been putting teams like the Bills away, late in games. The same is going to happen against a New York team with a terrible offense. Chris Ivory will keep the Jets in the game into the third quarter, but expect Philip Rivers to put it away late in the third or early in the fourth. As a huge fan of Rex Ryan, it irritates me how little the current GM has done for him these past few offseasons. Needless to say, NYJ's FO is so adamant about getting their hand picked coach in place that they sabotaged two consecutive seasons in order to get Rex out of there. I'd love it if the Jets could win and fight for their coach.
There's no way New England is getting off the schnide against this Bengals defense. No way, whatsoever. This game is over unless Bill becomes less stubborn overnight and just starts his only two outside threats at receiver. Jesus Christ, Mr. Belichick. Play the kids and give your team a chance. You aren't carving up this Bengals secondary with Edelman, LaFell, and Amendola. Not going to happen. Andy Dalton mostly sucks, as usual, but AJ Green catches two superhuman touchdowns and Gio runs one in. Don't get me wrong, I think New England gets the ball rolling, and soon, but not this week.
Do I even have to explain this prediction? lolRedksins
