- Thread starter
- #1
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2011
- Messages
- 18,967
- Reaction score
- 460
Interior: Wizards' locker room
Paco Teagz (head coach):
We have to figure this shit out. How the fuck are we 3-10 after 13 games? We have two guys who claim to be all-stars [Derrick Rose and Derrick Favors], BK you averaged 20 and 7 not that long ago. Trey [Lyles] it's your third year in the league, it's time to show something. You haven't done jack shit here---
Lyles:
---Coach I shot 100% my rookie year and,
Teagz:
Who cares? You played like 16 games that year and went like five of five from three. Congratufuckinglations. How'd that help you last week when Kevin Love had you bent over a barrel in Milwaukee? How the fuck do you give up 56 to a white guy?
Derrick Favors:
[boisterous laughter]
Teagz:
I don't know what you're laughing at Derrick. Boogie Cousins has ass fucked you 3 times this season. It's day 20. You showed up out of shape after we traded to get you back and you've played like shit. Your percentages are down across the board and you suddenly forgot how to rebound. I'd suggest you make a commitment to your game instead of spending your nights in downtown bars trying to have sex with senatorial aides.
Favors:
But coach, we got this new wave of young women being elected to congress, and it's really inspiring some young women to get involved in politics, you know what I'm saying?
Teagz:
I really don't care who you spend your nights with Derrick, I just need to win games, and to do that I need some leadership. Maybe that could come from the guy who averages 27, 5, and 9 for his career and is on a max contract, what do you say Mr. Rose?
Derrick Rose:
[pulls out airpods]
I could probably do that, I guess
[puts airpods back in]
Teagz:
[shakes head]
Alright then, how about some enthusiasm from our other point guard, BK are you willing to lead?
Brandon Knight:
Yeah coach that sounds good and everything but it's like, I got this bowling league starting up right now, so I'm putting a lot of my energy towards that, and like they want me to be the team captain or whatever over there, so I don't know if I can be a leader here while I'm leading over there. It's not that like, I don't want to or anything, it's just I only got so much leadership in me on any given day and I'm not sure how I can do both without like making myself sick from all the leading you know?
Teagz:
I don't even know how to respond to that. Maybe focus your leadership on the team that's paying you twenty million dollars this year?
Knight:
Yeah but the bowling league got this cool ass trophy with like these---
Jonathan Motley:
Fuck it, I'll step up and be the leader y'all need. Follow me and I'll change your bum ass life that's a guarantee! Back in Waco, whenever shit went sideways I would---
Teagz:
Who the fuck are you? Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. I need leadership from my real players, not some G-League nobody. So who's gonna step up and save this team?
*crickets*
Teagz:
Fuck it.
[turns towards whiteboard]
So when we're running pick and roll...
