If the NHL was a party, what kind of guest would each player be?

[Phil The Thrill]

Saw this on HFBoards, thought it has potential to be a very funny thread.
 
Some of the better ones posted there were:
 

 
Erik Johnson would be the one doing something stupid that ends up getting hurt...
 
I can see Phaneuf as the guy that's playing beer pong, and tries bouncing a shot, and by accident gets it into his own cup.
 
Heatley being the most loaded.
 
Marchand being the chirppy little bitch who acts tough but just hides behind his friends.
 
Subban being Mr. Super Cocky who needs to be the center of attention.
 
Kane - Passed out after 1 hour

Kessel - Outcast who sits in the corner
 
The Sedins would refuse to play beer pong unless they were on the same team.

Jeff Carter would get drunk and sleep with his buddies girl.
 
Byfuglien is the one who always shows up first to secure a seat next to the fridge
 
Tyler Seguin- would already be in the drunk tank waiting for his parents to bail him out.
 
Alfredsson would organize the party, only to leave halfway through because he heard about a better party somewhere else.
 

 
 
 
Makes for a good offseason thread.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

[Steez]

Wayne Gretzky would be the pissed off dad who crashes the party because his puck slut daughter is about to bang Sean Avery.

 

[RipCity32]

Datysuk strikes me as the type to go super hard lol. Enjoying that Russian vodka.

 

[Fuhgeddaboudit]

I can see Kovalchuk taking a 30 year mortgage on a house in the US and living in Russia instead

 

[Fuhgeddaboudit]

Oh nevermind, it's a party...
 
hmm, I can see Kovalchuk hosting the party for 17 days and never being there

 

[RipCity32]

Lmfaooooooooo.

 

[The Guid]

Biz is definitely Wooderson. Mackin on high school girls.

 

[Phil The Thrill]

Brendan Gallagher would definitely be the biggest light weight there.
 
One beer queer.

 

[Phil The Thrill]

Kaberle would ruin every game of peer pong by always waiting for the perfect shot.

 

[Steez]

Kovalchuk would be the guy who goes on a beer run, only to not come back.

 

[snipezo]

Pretty boy Lundqvist would be getting all the bitches

 

[Phil The Thrill]

lmfao:
 

 
People are still trying to figure out who invited Kessel. Bieksa and Pronger are trying to convince Kessel to go talk to that hot girl over there whose "clearly into him". That girl is Chara's sister. 
 

 

[Steez]

Lmfao. That's the best one yet.

 

[Steez]

Bryz is creeping out all the bitches talking about sophisticated shit and comparing their beauty to that of a dog.

 

[The Guid]

Bryz seems more like that stoned guy who just stares for hours at the same thing
 
DiPietro got into an accident before he even got the party. He walked.

 

[Phil The Thrill]

Eberle seems like a stoner as well.

 

[Steez]

Brent Burns is probably somewhere ripping a bong.

 

[The Guid]

Or completely wasted and growling like Chewbacca

 

[Steez]

Lmao. That dude's beard is so sick.
 
What do you guys think Raffi Torres is doing at the party?

 

[The Guid]

He's totally the asshole icing people; the party version of a blindside cheap shot.