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Earlier this season, he was suspended two weeks for skipping practice. This past weekend, he accidentally shot himself in the leg at a New York nightclub. He allegedly gave a fake name, Ron Mexico-style, at the hospital. Now his season is over and he could go to prison. What's the next logical stop on this whirlwind tour of buffoonery?
The Washington Redskins of course
I'm not naive enough to think another team won't give him a chance; Dan Snyder has been looking for a big-play wideout for a couple years now, and I'm sure he'd gladly sign Burress.
But is it a little bit soon for that? Because he could go to prison for at least a little while, right? And does he really deserve another chance?
Also, it wouldn't hurt to sign Chad Ocho Cinco. And you know how fans haven't been happy with quarterback Jason Campbell? Yeah, it would probably make a whole lot of sense to pick up Michael Vick. Clinton Portis is hurting, man. Is OJ Simpson available?
I'm just kidding, of course, at least about Ocho Cinco. And I don't want to accuse Redskins fans of being anything except sane and rational and perfect in every way, so I won't. But you know what's what.
The sad thing is that people were telling me - the day Vick was sentenced - that the Redskins were in the mix to sign him because Snyder likes to sign "Big names".
By the way, if you say that Snyder likes signing "Big names", you're a moron. Snyder, like every owner in the NFL, wants to sign GOOD PLAYERS - big name or not.
I'd be shocked if we saw Plax or Ocho Cinco here. We have two big rookies and while they probably won't turn out, they need more than half a season to prove themselves.
Not to mention Santana Moss is better than both of them anyway.
But anyways a few years ago Burress to the Skins would've been more of a possibility. These last couple of years, Snyder hasn't really been throwing around the money at the Adam Archuletas of the NFL world like he used to.
Look at the acquisition of DeAngelo Hall... simple short contract, not a lot of money, even though Hall's a big name. In years past, Hall would've been signed for 4 years and $25 million or some other exorbitant figure, with $18M guaranteed. It isn't how it used to be around here, but all people remember is the Archuletas, the Brunells, and the Chad Mortons.
I don't think that Plax would be such a bad signing honestly. We have a no nonsense team and he'd get a chance to play against Cough-coughlin which I assume that he doesn't like too much.