Week 13: Big Game Predictions

[BwareDWare94]

 27 Philip Rivers' bolo tie 23

 
I don't really know why I'm picking Baltimore when I've lost all faith in Joe Flacco and Philip Rivers is his opponent. I suppose it's because of the Ravens defense, which has really held it together for this team over the past couple of years. On that side of the ball, the Ravens and fast and fierce and remarkably fun to watch. In contrast to their early season run, the Chargers have looked very very mortal, and very vulnerable, in recent weeks, and I see no reason why the Ravens won't pull a win out of the hat.
 

 30 Kyle Orton and his porn star stache 17
 
Who would have predicted this to be a big game in week 13? I know I wouldn't have. The Browns have continued to surprise this season, while the Bills are a game above .500 and looking to jump right back into the playoff discussion. I'm not sure who has the better quarterback, as both are no more than career backups, but I tend to trust Hoyer more when his best receiver isn't being covered by a corner anywhere near the level of Joe Haden, who Orton's best receiver will have to deal with. Fred Jackson's return has been huge for Buffalo, and I expect the Bills backfield to be much more successful than Cleveland's, but I think Hoyer/Gordon/Hawkins/Austin/etc can expose the Bills secondary and score some points.
 

 33 Rob Ryan's Belly 13
 
I'm going to show Mike Tomlin some faith and predict that the Steelers do not play down to their competition, for once. I expect Ben and Brown to hook up over and over again against the Saints and force Brees into constant pass mode where the Steelers' pass rush can wreak some havoc and cause some turnovers. Le'Veon Bell also has a chance to have a great game, and it would not surprise me if he tops 130 by the end of the day. You have a legitimate shot at a playoff birth, Pittsburgh. Don't fuck it by up playing down to your competition.
 

 38 Failcons 19
 
It fucking irritates me that I have to accept the fact that a team that might win 5-6 games could make the playoffs this year, but the NFC South is so fucking pathetic that it's entirely possible. Not a single NFC South team will win this week, pushing all 4 teams to at least 8 losses. I don't expect any of these teams to reach 7 wins. The Cardinals are going to trounce Atlanta. Drew Stanton is going to go off after his first truly bad game. The Arizona defense is going to feast on Matt Ryan with blitz after blitz, forcing multiple turnovers. This should not be a game unless Stanton implodes. 
 

 26 The Belichick Stare 23
 
New England's winning streak has to end, at some point. What better time than at Lambeau? I think we're in for a great ballgame as both quarterbacks will be forced to lean on their running games against secondaries that are playing better than any of us could have imagined. I think Blount has a follow up performance to last week, scoring another pair of touchdowns. Lacy, not to be outdone, will post 2 scores, as well. Overall, this game will be sold to viewers as an aerial assault on both defenses, but that won't happen unless both defenses completely shit the bed.
 

 30 Kansas City's Scout Team Defense 20
 
At this point, the loss of Eric Berry is not only devastating in the sense that cancer scares are something we never want to see anybody go through, but also in the way that the Chiefs defense has now lost too many pieces to compensate. I expect Kansas City to play hard for the Arrowhead faithful, but it just won't be enough. Kansas City made a hell of a push into playoff contention in the first place, but this year has gone South.