Week 10 Predictions: AFC North (Jim Lahey Theme)

[BwareDWare94]

Going to try to lighten it up a bit with fictional character themes for my prediction threads
 

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In a game that comes down to a battle between two shitty field goal kickers, Billy Cundiff proves to be slightly less shitty as he shanks a field goal through as time expires. Offense will come at a premium in this game, allowing both teams a mere two touchdowns apiece, turning into a battle of field goals. Cundiff will be 3/4 on the night. Nugent will be 2/4. Considering it's the Browns and Bengals, the lols will be in full swing, tonight, and I won't even be watching because the Rockets/Spurs is on TNT. If my Rockets start getting shit-kicked, which is entirely possible, I'll turn to NFL Network for the shit fest that is going to be the Bengals and Browns. 
 

 
 

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In a far less shitty game than Cleveland/Cincinatti, the Ravens will blow the shit-tastic Titans out of the shit waters. Jake Locker/Clipboard Shithead/Selfie Queen are going to struggle, regardless of which starts, as the Titans are a shit cloud hovering over the state of Tennessee. Joe Flacco is so shitty most of the time that he's fantastic every now and then, and this will prove to be one of those not-so-shitty games. He'll find Steve Smith Sr. for three, count 'em, three touchdowns, and Justin Tucker will kick four goddamn field goals on the way to a dominant win for the Raven as they try to stop their imminent fall to shit. 
 

 
 

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For awhile there, I thought the only bigger piece of shit than Geno Smith was Michael Vick, but now I know that Matt Simms is a monumentally bigger piece of shit than either of those two. I don't know which of these skid marks will stain the Jets uniform and start at quarterback, but it simply isn't going to matter. The Steelers are going to shit all over the Jets, which really doesn't mean anything as the Jets are the NFL equivalent of a portable john. The only redeeming quality of the Jets so far has been the justifiably nicknamed Beast East (Chris Ivory), who is going to run all over the Steelers between shit interceptions by the Jets' shit quarterbacks. Needless to say, the Steelers will never know why they had to clean so much shit off of their cleats after this game. 
 

 

[elcheato]

I'm not sure how a battle between a 5-3 team and a 5-2-1 team in arguably the leagues best division is a "shit fest"

It's probably the best matchup for Thursday night so far

 

[BwareDWare94]

I'm not sure how a battle between a 5-3 team and a 5-2-1 team in arguably the leagues best division is a "shit fest"

It's probably the best matchup for Thursday night so far

 
Both teams win ugly. Very ugly. I didn't intend to imply that they are bad teams, which they aren't, but this game will likely be a shit fest. We're talking Dalton and Hoyer, here. 

 

[elcheato]

Aren't you the guy who hates offensive football and preaches old school and defense?

 

[BwareDWare94]

I am, but there's a difference between old school + defense and offensive ineptitude. 
 
I hope to see Hill and West go off, to be honest. 

 

[WHO-DEY-BENGALS_18]

lol a shit fest.. Browns and Bengals always play a tough, competitive game. I agree with elcheato, could be the best Thursday night game thus far. 

 

[WHO-DEY-BENGALS_18]

I was completely wrong Bware, you were completely right. I should have known better. I'll learn 

 

[BwareDWare94]

Well, the shit-fest thing was part of the bit. I thought the game would be closer but I also think these are the two most suspect teams in the league with +.500 records. 

Andy Dalton is not THAT bad. We know that much. He's not great, and on most Sundays he's markedly better than Brian Hoyer, but holy shit. Talk about a mediocre QB game, last night.
 
I like how the Browns use a 3 back attack. Everybody's fresh. Nobody's hurt. I don't much care for all the West hate out there--he's been as good as the Tate/Crowell when he's gotten the blocking they seem to get every time they touch the ball. 
 
Terrance West will be the back who survives this backfield and proves to be their #1. Crowell might have a cult following but that means nothing. I like both rookies more than Tate, though.

 

[elcheato]

Crowell doesn't have a cult following, he has a better YPC.

 

[BwareDWare94]

Crowell doesn't have a cult following, he has a better YPC.

 
Yeah, because nearly every time Terrance West gets a carry the blocking implodes. 

 

[Hurricane Season]

Does that mean West is a locker room cancer?

 

[BwareDWare94]

Does that mean West is a locker room cancer?

 
There were rumors that he was nearly uncoachable in college, but you always see his OL helping him up and shit like that. There's no indication that anybody has a problem with him in Cleveland.
 
He gets complete shit for blocking, though. Since Mack went out, this Browns line has obviously been better for off tackle or outside runs, which fit more into Crowell's style.

 

[elcheato]

Crowell had a higher YPC when Mack was healthy 
 
and they're running behind the same line. 

 

[BwareDWare94]

Crowell had a higher YPC when Mack was healthy 
 
and they're running behind the same line. 

 
They might be, but you've been watching them, too. West is not getting the same quality of blocking. I don't know why, but it's undeniable when watching.

 

[elcheato]

Crowell is a better one cut runner. They're both fits in the zone-blocking scheme, but Crowell is a superior fit. Crowell did fumble a couple of times though, which is why West is getting more carries now

 

[BwareDWare94]

Crowell is a better one cut runner. They're both fits in the zone-blocking scheme, but Crowell is a superior fit. Crowell did fumble a couple of times though, which is why West is getting more carries now

 
Do you ever wonder if this Browns staff overreacts? There's no denying Crowell deserves the bulk of the carries right now. I won't go so far as to say West deserves more of an opportunity, but how can any of these 3 backs develop consistency when they don't know who the featured back will be on any given day.

 

[elcheato]

No one has broken away from the pack. Crowell was doing it, but he was putting the ball on the ground too much, and the way the Browns offense is constructed, they can't afford turnovers, so it's not a shock or that ridiculous to cut his carries at the moment. West looks like he's locked in as the starter at the moment and will continue to get the bulk of carries. 

 

[WHO-DEY-BENGALS_18]

Whatever you do, don't put much into what you seen Thursday night because the Bengals just may have the worst run defense in the entire NFL, it's brutal.