Rotten Egg SI: Steven Adams Unfazed by Chuck Norris' Roundhouse Kick

[BwareDWare94]

Thunder Center Steven Adams found a unique way to make a name for himself last season. The massive New Zealand native became known for being unfazed by a variety of physical punishments, most notably the punch to his jaw delivered by Zach Randolph in the first round of the playoffs.
 
"I didn't even know I'd been punched," Adams said after the game. "I thought he was trying to tickle me." 

His Thunder teammates weren't the least bit surprised, recalling multiple incidents throughout the season where Adams had taken elbows, forearms, and closed fists to his upper body, only to shrug it off like nothing happened. "Kendrick got mad at him one day in practice and tried to put a haymaker on him," said Point Guard Russell Westbrook. "Never thought I'd see Kendrick cry, but his hand was in some serious pain after that."
 
Adams is relatively quiet, but couldn't help noticing that his Thunder teammates trying to find some way, any way to inflict some sort of pain on him. "I don't understand why Reggie (Jackson, backup PG) threw a bowling ball at me," he said. "Coach Brooks made him clean it up after it shattered against my sternum."
 
Serge Ibaka came up with an idea last week, and his teammates thought they'd finally found a way to physically harm Adams. TV legend Chuck Norris was invited to Thunder practice on Wednesday to perform his signature roundhouse kick on Adams. The next thing Adams' teammates knew, the 74 year old Norris was on the floor, screaming in agony, having shattered his ankle and dislocated his hip in the act of kicking Adams. 
 
"I had no clue Chuck Norris was 74, but his hip did," said head coach Scott Brooks.
 
Adams slow-clapped his teammates and walked off the court, as it was the end of practice. Norris was rushed to a nearby hospital, where they discovered that his ankle had already healed, and his hip had popped back into place. The last detail our intern could gather was that Chuck Norris was on his way to film another Total Gym commercial, followed up by a trip overseas to roundhouse kick the shit out of the Ebola virus.

 

[Thomas-Panda-Saxby]

Wut lmaooo