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No NBA team is perfect. Okay, the Celtics are darn near close, but every one of the league’s thirty teams could use at least some help from Santa Claus this year. Whether it’s a new place to play, a more consistent point guard or new ownership – Santa has something in his sleigh for each team, both naughty and nice.
Atlanta Hawks
Maturation - The Hawks have the NBA’s most promising young roster. Their years of futility have provided them with a bevy of lottery picks this decade, allowing them to stockpile talent like they were shopping at Costco. The sooner the Williams’ boys, Josh Smith, Acie Law and Al Horford mature into their NBA-ready bodies, the sooner Joe Johnson will stop burning himself out.
Boston Celtics
A 17th Banner - If the Celtics don’t win a title in the next three years, there will be supreme disappointment throughout the Hub. We all know that ‘The Big Three’ of Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett aren’t getting any younger, but the expectations surrounding them aren’t getting any lighter thanks to their hot start to the 2007-08 season.
New York Knicks
Change of the Guard - Thankfully, Vince Vaughn taught us in Fred Claus that Santa gives toys to children both naughty and nice. The Knicks have tried their hardest to ensure they’ll be on the receiving end of a lump of coal this Christmas, but need too much help from Santa to be punished. Santa must bring James Dolan the courage to rid himself of Isiah Thomas and/or Stephon Marbury.
Philadelphia 76ers
Health and Progress - The 76ers have a nice core in Andre Miller, Andre Iguodala and Samuel Dalembert. The only problem is that Miller and Dalembert sometimes have problems remaining healthy, and Philadelphia cannot seem to get their ‘medium three’ to play well together consistently. They’ll have Miller in the backcourt for a full season this year, barring injury or trade, which could help glue the roster together. It still may be a while before they recover from the Iverson trade, but forward progress would certainly help.
New Jersey Nets
Health and Band-Aids - No one talks about it, but the Nets are probably the most injury-riddled franchise in professional basketball. Jason Kidd, who still manages to play at an elite level, always seems to be nursing some type of wound. Vince Carter, their much-maligned, temperamental scorer’s recently sprained ankle was the most predictable twist of the season. Richard Jefferson, who broke out of the Jersey smog a few seasons ago, spends at least a few weeks on the bench each year and Nenad Krstic still hasn’t recovered from last December’s torn ACL. While you’re at it Mr. Kringle, get Lawrence Frank some Pepto Bismol.
Washington Wizards
Agent Zero - The more the Wizards struggle, the more likely it becomes that Gilbert Arenas will leave the District of Columbia this summer. Gilbert might enjoy jacking up thirty or forty shots in a losing effort, but ultimately he wants to win. Washington needs Santa to convince Arenas to remain on the team, or the Wizards will take three steps back in their fight to contend in the Eastern Conference.
Orlando Magic
Hedo’s Help - If Rashard Lewis and Dwight Howard are going to lead the Magic on a deep playoff run, they are going to need Hedo Turkoglu to maintain his torrid play this season. Orlando knew they’d get twenty points from Lewis each night and a double-double from Howard, but the lift Turkoglu has provided is the reason the Magic are looking so strong. The second his production takes a dip, defenses will start double-teaming Lewis more often, and Orlando’s record will suffer.
Miami Heat
A Time Machine - This may be the loftiest wish on my NBA-themed Christmas list, but it’s the only thing that’s going to help Pat Riley and the Heat in 2008. Shaquille O’Neal, despite his persistence, is showing his age like never before and Dwyane Wade’s style of play doesn’t jive with an 82-game schedule. Having Alonzo Mourning healthy wouldn’t hurt either. If Riley could open a package containing a letter from Doc Holiday and a Dolorean, things would improve quickly for the ballers of South Beach.
Toronto Raptors
National Attention - Thanks to our strong Toronto reader base, RealGM is always quick to acknowledge the Raptors and their accomplishments, but the rest of the basketball media often overlooks the NBA’s only Canadian franchise. It’ll be extremely difficult for them to repeat as Atlantic Division champions this season, but a playoff run is not out of the question. T.J. Ford and Chris Bosh are one of the league’s best one-two punches, and Bryan Colangelo has single-handed transformed the Raptors into the reduced-fat version of the Phoenix Suns . It’s just too bad Ford can’t be a little more like Nash, and the combination of Bosh and Andrea Bargnani don’t have much in common with Shawn Marion and Amare Stoudemire.
Cleveland Cavaliers
A DVD of the 2006 Postseason - I don’t mean to be a Scrooge, but this is probably the best gift anyone could give LeBron James and the Cavs this holiday season. They don’t seem prepared to make another Finals run in the near future, and reviewing their 2006 success might help stir up positive memories. Cleveland needs more than Anderson Varejao and Larry Hughes alongside LBJ.
Chicago Bulls
Confidence - John Paxson’s Christmas List was probably a small one towards the end of the 2006-2007 season. The Bulls had swept the defending champion Miami Heat and their young guns, Luol Deng and Ben Gordon, seemed primed for career-years. Then the whirlwind 2007 offseason swept through, and the Bulls lost of all semblance of a confident team. I don’t care what anyone says, the failed contract extensions (Deng and Gordon) and the Kobe Bryant trade rumors, have done a number on a team that should be one of the best in the East.
Detroit Pistons
Youth - I know Joe Dumars has tried to build up some young talent, like Amir Johnson and Jason Maxiell, but the Pistons are still too reliant on their core of aging starters. Rasheed Wallace’s hair will soon be gray in more than just that one strange spot, it took Chauncey Billups quite a while just to join the NBA’s elite, and while Richard Hamilton and Tayshaun Prince are young – they’ve been playing in 100-game seasons for the last four or five years. It’s going to start taking its toll sooner or later, if it hasn’t already. The trade they pulled off with Charlotte will help, but a little more work still needs to be done.
Indiana Pacers
A Memory Eraser - If anyone needs a time machine more than Pat Riley and the Heat, it’s the Indiana Pacers . Once considered the class of the NBA, along with the San Antonio Spurs , the Pacers have taken a sudden, and drastic, decline over the last three years. While they only made one trip to the Finals, Indiana seemed to be in the Conference Finals every June from the mid-nineties through to the 2003-04 season. Then Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson and the injury bug struck. The Pacers haven’t been the same since. Those nightmares need to be forgotten.
Charlotte Bobcats
Another Veteran - Making the trade for Jason Richardson on the night of the 2007 Draft was wise, but Charlotte needs another vet to help the young Bobcats along. Their wish might have been vastly different had Adam Morrison and Sean May not gone down for the season, but an older presence probably still would have been necessary. Richardson can be the best player on a team, but he was never a real leader in Golden State – Baron Davis held those responsibilities. Santa may even give Sam Vincent a rain check, as long as the ‘Cats have another vet by next fall. And no, Michael Jordan isn’t an option.
Milwaukee Bucks
Some Support - Wisconsin has long been considered a football state, and the resurgence of Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers hasn’t helped change that this season. A lot of people in the cheese capital of the world may not realize it, but Milwaukee has a pretty exciting basketball team. Mo Williams, Michael Redd, Charlie Villanueva, Yi Jianlian and Andrew Bogut form an impressive squad; they deserve to play in front of a packed house.
New Orleans Hornets
DVR - Fans of the Hornets, whether they be in New Orleans, Oklahoma City or even Charlotte, need to record every game they can over the next handful of seasons. Chris Paul is one of the league’s best young players, and when Steve Nash and Jason Kidd hang ‘em up, he’ll be in a battle with Deron Williams to take over as the league’s best true point guard. The people of Hornets’ Nation might also want to send the team a letter, keep him in teal or else.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Fast Forward - The best thing Santa could bring the Timberwolves is the remote control from Adam Sandler’s Click. It’s going to take a year or two for the league, and the fan’s, to get over Kevin Garnett’s absence, and skipping those seasons might not be such a bad idea. Minnesota has a wealth of young talent, but chances are it’s going to take a substantial amount of time for them to grow into a cohesive unit. Good ol’ St. Nick could save us some pain.
Houston Rockets
A Bubble - I apologize for all the cinematic references, but Padre Navidad’s greatest gift to the Rockets would be a bubble to place injury-prone star Tracy McGrady in. Yao Ming and McGrady form the league’s best one-two combination, but they are rarely healthy at the same time. Rumor has it that T-Mac injured his elbow a month ago fanning away one of Yao’s general tso farts. This guy just can’t stay healthy.
Dallas Mavericks
Cuban Clones - I’ve always been a huge fan and supporter of Mark Cuban, but the Mavericks need to start sharing the wealth. I can think of a handful of teams that would benefit exponentially from his presence in their organization (the Knicks just to name one). He gives his heart, soul and bank account to Dallas – something few profit-conscious owners do these days. He even slimmed down during his appearance on ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ Do you think he could suit up and guard Tony Parker?
San Antonio Spurs
Cryogenics - The Spurs could easily rule the NBA for another decade if they could just get their hands on some cryogenics. You see, they could stick Tim Duncan in the freezer until March. Then thaw him out and give him a few weeks of regular season play to shake off the rust. Without Duncan, the Spurs still qualify for one of the West’s playoff spots, and cruise to the title on an annual basis with a refreshed Timmy. Once the champagne is cleaned up from the championship parade, they freeze him up again. Rinse, and repeat. At that rate, he’d age at one-fourth the speed of a normal person. Brilliant!
Phoenix Suns
See San Antonio - They need to adopt the same policy with Steve Nash. Unfortunately, it will only guarantee lofty expectations, a stellar regular season record and a playoff exit at the hands of the Spurs and cryo-Timmy.
Utah Jazz
Call A Doctor - Can you imagine how good the Jazz would be if Andrei Kirilenko’s head was somewhere within this galaxy? Point guard Deron Williams makes everyone around him, aside from Kirilenko, better. Carlos Boozer has become a double-double machine, and Jerry Sloan’s supporting cast is among the league’s best, and most underrated. If Kirilenko could clear his head and bring his five-tool skill set to the table every night, Utah would be nearly unstoppable.
Denver Nuggets
Bionic Parts - Santa needs to bring each of the Nuggets’ players bionic joints in order to ensure health for at least an entire season. A healthy Kenyon Martin probably puts Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson over the top, but he still hasn’t fully recovered from an injury that’s more than a year old. Then, there’s recently-hobbled Nene, who was expected to fill in for Martin as he continues to recover. I’m amazed George Karl has kept his cool.
Seattle Supersonics
A Permanent Home - Sam Presti has done a terrific job rebuilding the Sonics on the fly. Just moments after trading Ray Allen and losing Rashard Lewis to Orlando, there was reason for optimism in Seattle. Kevin Durant and Jeff Green, the second and fifth draft picks respectively, will have the Sonics contending in a few short years. The only problem is that we have no idea where that contending will take place. The team appears to be on its way out of Seattle, and into Oklahoma City, but nothing is certain at this point in time. Once Durant has a long-term home, he’ll excel as an elite talent and marketable franchise player.
Portland Trail Blazers
Next Fall - The Blazers could use Minnesota’s remote control, but not to the same extreme. All Portland needs to do is advance to the start of the 2008-09 season, when they anticipate Greg Oden will finally make his NBA debut. Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge have done a terrific job holding down the fort without the team’s first overall pick, but imagine how tough the Blazers would have been with the former Buckeye in their frontcourt. On paper this year’s version of the Blazers, sans Oden, looks no better than the last year’s team. However, they’re competing in games some think they have no business winning early this season. 2008 could be a great year in the state of Oregon.
Los Angeles Lakers
A Light Bulb - Phil Jackson, Jerry Buss, the Lakers’ players, their Hollywood fan base and Kobe Bryant himself, need to realize that Kobe isn’t going anywhere. No. 24 loves the spotlight of L.A. and I’m not sure another city, or coach, could handle his enormous ego. If Kobe is going to veto a trade to Detroit, and insist that team’s aren’t gutted in exchange for his services, where is he going to fit? Deep down Kobe is still making a fuss in hopes that the Lakers will add some more talent around him within the next century. Once the team realizes he’s not going anywhere, they can focus on winning games and improving from within.
Los Angeles Clippers
Elton Brand - The Clippers need Elton back as soon as possible. Santa needs to send his army of elves to Brand’s house to fix him up real good before the calendar turns to January. Los Angeles’ other NBA team is playing decent basketball, with Chris Kaman doing his best Brand impression in the paint. If they can maintain their current level of play, Brand would make them a lock for the postseason. A foundation of youth for Sam Cassell wouldn’t hurt either; the team has lost eight of eleven with him on the shelf.
Golden State Warriors
A Long Diddy - Similar to the Wizards, the Warriors need to keep their charismatic franchise player in town. When healthy, Baron Davis is among the league’s best, and has turned into one of the basketball’s best leaders. If you are capable of getting Stephen Jackson to visit a library instead of a shooting range, you deserve a Noble Peace Prize to go along with a lucrative long-term contract.
Sacramento Kings
High Octane - The Kings need to restore the kind of offense that made Arco Arena a feared place around the turn of the millennium. Those Kings’ teams, anchored by Chris Webber, Peja Stojakovic, Vlade Divac and Jason Williams, lit a fire under the Sacramento community like none other. The presence of Ron Artest, a supremely talented player, has at times bogged down the Kings’ offense. He did the same thing in Indiana, where he dribbled away half the shot clock looking to do things on his own. At the very least, another installment of the high-octane Kings would be entertaining.
Memphis Grizzles
Conley Jr. - The mystery of Mike Conley Jr. needs to be solved. Regarded as one of, if not the best point guard in this June’s draft, the Grizzles took him ahead of Texas A&M’s Acie Law. Atlanta has given Law significant playing time in the first two months of the season, while Conley was relegated to the bench before injuring his right shoulder in late-November. Is playing Damon Stoudamire, who looks like he’s in his mid-forties, or Kyle Lowry really a better option than seeing what Conley can do? He seems to be healed, and ready to take the court, so Iavaroni should let go of the leash for the rest of the season.
